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I thought we needed a little laugh this morning, so the girls and I put together these questions and answers. Here are 20 Humorous Questions About Unschooling.
I laugh sometimes at the questions people ask, and, although we would never dream of saying these answers, the thoughts do flash in my mind along with a split-second cartoon animation of what I am really thinking. So if you ever ask a question to a homeschooler, and they are smiling, well, they are thinking of a variation of one of these answers.
1. Why aren't you in school today?
School? Do I have to go to school? No, I don't attend school anymore. I dropped out, and I want to be a bum and live on the street in a cardboard box.
2. Do your parents make you homeschool?
Yes, I am forced into this. I beg and plead every night that my parents will wake
me up at 6 am so I can sit on a bus for an hour and then go sit at a desk for eight hours just so I can sit on a bus again for another hour and then do three hours worth of homework. My parents are too mean to let me live that dream.
3. Do you have any friends?
No, my parents only let me out twice a day, and I am not allowed to talk to any other soul, especially kids my own age.
4. How do you meet people?
I paint myself blue and run around our campsite yelling at the top of my lungs at anyone who is outside. It works for me.
5. Do you get grades?
Yes, my parents flip a coin after every activity. Heads is an "A" and tails is a big fat "F".
6. What grade are you in?
If you want to pigeonhole me down to a grade based on my age and not what I know... I guess I'm in grade... um... I would place myself somewhere between grade 0.724 and grade eleventy-million.
7. How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you?
I take a dart and throw it at the wall of a list of activities, and that's how I decide.
8. Do you like homeschooling?
Do you like field trips, movies, chocolate, and sleeping late?
9. Are you done with your homework?
Yep, I finished it at 10 am this morning. Every bit of the work I do is at home, so therefore it can all be called 'homework'.
10. Doooo yooouuuu understand meeee?
Yes, I speak English not whatever the heck you are speaking, you freak.
11. What school do you go to?
Saint Dracula Vampire Academy. That's a school? Where's it located? About five minutes from here. What? What county is that in? I don't know what country are we in right now? What? I'm Homeschooled or UNSCHOOLED. Oh, you are one of THEM.
12. Do you have to wear a uniform?
Yes, I get up at 6 am so I can put on a 3 piece suite and walk in straight lines and
never sit down all day.
13. Do you take tests?
What are tests? Can you spell that or use it in a sentence, Please?
14. Why do you homeschool?
It seemed like a good idea at the time, and I love a good challenge.
15. Is your school done on the computer?
No, I love killing thousands of trees in order to make school books and workbooks and especially love my #2 Ticonderoga pencils!
Nope, I often stay up at night and think of ways that I could get arrested and thrown in jail and this one is my best idea yet!
17. Random person testing: Who is the president on the $100 dollar bill
Do you know what, you old fart? Why don't you ask the public school kid? My kid will tell you that there is no president on the $100. It's Benjamin Franklin. He was never a president. I bet your kid doesn't know that. Bring it, you old lady. (Sorry... sometimes the bitterness comes out...)
18. How do you homeschool If you live in a camper?
It's quite simple. When we move, we hook up to the camper with a big truck and move on to the next learning experience.
19. How are your kids ever going to get into college?
College? My kids are going to Uncollege, and why the heck would I spend thousands of dollars when they can get a real education from mentors? Really, I have said this. I love the looks I get.
20. What is your favorite subject?
Everything! I love everything about my school. I love to learn. Don't other kids?
In Conclusion...
This was only meant to be funny. If you are offended in any way, the toughen up, get some thicker skin and .... (sorry bitterness again). Finally, for more information on how to enjoy learning and Unschooling see here...
